Wednesday, March 23, 2011

What to do next?

Ahh, Wednesday! I'm sitting here with so many tabs open doing what feels like a hundred things at once, not too sure any of them productive! LP2 is sleeping, LP1 happily playing close by with her toys (for now).

There's dishes on the sink, washing to be hung out and a pile of dirty clothes in the hall. But I simply can't bring myself to do them right now. My mind is racing, priorities all out of whack. Don't worry it'll all be done by the time hubby gets home from work, hey, even dinner will be ready. So why do I feel like so much of my day is 'wasted' sitting in front of this computer?

Is it because I feel like it's my only contact with the outside world? I'm a SAHM, I don't go out (no, the supermarket doesn't count) and I don't really have any friends here in my town anymore. At least on Facebook, I have other mum's with kids the same ages as mine to talk to all the time.

Is it because in two days time, our only breadwinner will be unemployed for two weeks before his new job starts? That's two weeks of unpaid bills. Eek! On top of that, the new job is 4 hours away. Yep, we are moving. So there's a house to be packed. Wait. First we have to FIND a new house to move into!

Oh, I'm starting to regret this post, I was much happier in fb land, building my city, playing bingo and hunting mice.

I guess once we move, I'll have to force myself out into the big bad world and meet new people. For the kids sake, and mine I guess.

I'm not a bad mum, I'm just a mum who feels like I've lost who I AM, and what my purpose is (besides dirty nappies, washing and dishes.)

As I read back over this post, it doesn't make much sense at all, seems rather disjointed. But I feel better for it.

Ok, so I now realise that all those tabs are keeping my mind busy, distracting me from my real world worries. You know what, I just might close a few of those for a while and go and get LP1 to make me a cuppa in her kitchen. Then I'll tackle those dishes and washing :)

1 comment:

Romina Garcia said...

For what it's worth I know exactly what you mean. If it wasn't for this very laptop and my world inside of it - the outside one would seem way too overwhelming.
"Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" (That's from Nemo, just in case you didn't get the metaphor )
xx

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